Yesterday I was talking to a dear client, and she shared with me an experience that made me think about the people we surround ourselves with. But let me share the experience first.
Episode 1. Enter “The Expert”. We all meet experts in our lives – most of them are quite arrogant people, who consider their every word a blessing they bestow on others. They treat you with superiority and make it quite obvious that you don’t know s**t and you’ll never get where they are. Maybe – just maybe – you might get one step higher, but you will need to work very, very hard, and there’s no guarantee.
The Expert brings your feet on the ground. But most times, they bury your self-worth underneath.
How does a talk with such people make you feel?
Episode 2. Enter The Coach. After the self-minimizing and disappointing discussion with The Expert, our friend – incidentally – has a talk with a coach, who brings into light her abilities and qualities. She feels better again.
The Coach, you might say, is a sweet-talker that makes you feel better for a little while. Like the mirror in Snow White, who, the Queen hopes, will tell that she is the most beautiful.
What the Coach does is nothing but to bring into light what already exists there, and what is empowering.
You can say that the coach is a professional muse.
If this is how we feel after talking to an inspiring person, why don’t we fill our lives with such people? Imagine what it would be like to have such a discussion every day.
To have someone really believe in you every day.
To have someone tell you you’re doing great and keep going.
To have someone highlight your flaws, but have confidence that you will work on them and be your best self.
To have someone encourage you every day.
To have someone show you a different perspective you haven’t thought of, and make you think from another angle.
If that would help you feel good about yourself, enjoy yourself, and feel you’re developing towards what you want to be, why would you surround yourself with
- people who’re whining all the time
- people who talk you down “You’ll never be able to…”
- people who don’t care
Wouldn’t it be great if we could surround ourselves with inspiration and good will?
Then, why don’t we?
Did you know that wild geese take turns in leading the way when they fly? For the first goose, it’s the most difficult, because she has to break the air for the rest of the group. But they take turns, and whoever is in the lead gets encouraged.
Did you ever wonder why they honk while flying? It’s because this is the way they encourage the lead goose.
If you would get encouragement and inspiration every day, would you not accomplish more?
How about consciously getting them, by talking with the empowering people you know?
How can you build your network of support? How can you be part of the support network for someone else?
Be the lead goose. Ask for encouragement. And give it back, in your turn.