The second week of my transition to a new job has passed, and I find myself with an obvious conclusion.
I’m treading on thin ice.
Constantly aware of what I say and do, exposing my views (“you don’t want to seem unopinionated“, my angel on the right shoulder, or Self 1, advises) but careful not to let my big mouth take control (“you know how often that got you into trouble” says my Self 1).
So, during the process, I’m taking notes and paying attention to what’s happening in my mind. You have a first example even above. And here’s Phase 2 of the process.
What’s happening, mentally, during the transition?
An insecurity of position.
And I’m not referring here to the job title, but to relationships. I haven’t worked with these people before, and I don’t know what’s right and what not. There’s a lack of framework in which I operate.
“What are some encouraged behaviours you would like to see in me?”
“What are 3 things that you’d advise me not to do?”
b. Connect with as many people as possible.
I had meaningful conversations and monosylabic dialogues, explored different views and made a few opinions. There were some people I clicked with, immediately. Others, I made a conscious effort to understand and appreciate.
But there’s one clear advantage – I got to know an underlying pattern of behaviour, and indeed realized that what Dale Carnegie said was true. When you ask people about themselves, about their likes and interests, they open up. Of course, if you ask me, I might never stop and even tell you what I had for dinner last night. But, as said before, I’m trying hard to practice the “two ears, one mouth” saying. Which brings me to solution no. 3 :
When in doubt, stop and listen.
I’m a very fast person, and tend to rush to give answers, to deliver and to convince. But in transition, the purpose is not to demonstrate. Ok, results should come fairly fast…but the critical starting point is looking around and getting to know the environment.
It all starts from the outside in – that’s why it’s called internalizing.
So the learning process I’m going through looks like this:
The first process came before the job change/transition itself. I asked myself what I wanted, looked around and made some choices, which in return landed me on this job change. It’s my personal long term learning process that started inside and turned into a change in the outside environment.
The second process started last week, and refers to the change the environment makes on me – I adapt, I’m aware and transform the changes required by the job into myself. I will (I’m not there yet) come again inward, to realize what my skills are, what I need to accomplish and how I need to behave. And this will be a step forward.
If, between the two, at the core, I will realize that the personal results required by the job, and the personal results I wanted for myself, contradict each other, the dissociation would make me unhappy.
And then, the process of change would have to start again – I would look for another job, etc.
This refers only to a job change, because this is the particular process I’m going through at the moment – but I’m sure it can be reapplied to any major change in life. What do you think?