In the past weeks – no, even months! – frequently I start discussions about trivial or business-related topics with people, then surreptitiously slide into personal, even spiritual topics.
There’s something in me, that, when asked “So, how are you doing?” keeps wanting to answer 100% honest, brutally even: “Well, you know, had a bumpy year, some health issues, almost cracked twice from too my pressure I put on myself, but somehow I learned lots and I’m feeling better!” How refreshing. How would life be, if most people answered purely honestly like that?
Even if that doesn’t happen – most often I go for the socially acceptable “I’m fine, a bit tired, quite busy, you know. But fine. And how are you?” – it seems to somehow provoke prodding and questioning on deeper subjects. Like perfectionism. Wanting to do it all and failing. Or search for fulfillment. Questions like “Is this corporate life really all?” or “I know I said I want a career in this department, but actually, what’s bugging me right now is how to rebuild my life after this change.”
It seemed like all the people – including myself – asking themselves these deeper questions, have actually a single one, hidden, in their heart:
“Is this what defines me?”
Why do we keep searching something to define us? Why do we look for certainty, measurements, trustworthy answers and mirrors, everywhere we turn?
When, in fact, the simple answer is “No.”
This is not what defines you.
You are a kaleidoscope that’s constantly changing.
Your search, regardless if it is for your new career, inner balance, peace or better relationships, defines you much more than all the concrete, clearly-set, written on business cards details of your life.
And precisely because it’s changing, precisely because it’s undefined, this search, this question, is what’s so special about you.
Give in to the search, the longing, the questionmarks. Go on that path.